Wayne's Depression

Have you ever heard of The Adventures of MYCUN? The animated crossover series that stars a boy named Gabriel Garza and features characters from movies and video games he likes? If yes, what if I told you there was an unreleased dark episode? I discovered it last week. Let me tell you my experience

It happened on a cold, stormy night. The rain was heavily pounding my bedroom window. I could barely sleep because it was so cold in my room. I was later awoken by a muffled buzzing noise coming from downstairs. Groaning, I turned my head toward my digital alarm clock. The time was 3:30 AM, too early for me to wake up, but I couldn’t sleep with that noise. I threw my blankets aside, crawled out of my bed, and proceeded to step out of my room. I had to be quiet, because my parents were still asleep. I slumped down the stairs into the living room. It was even colder in there than in my room. The only light in the room was from the TV, which was on the Adult Swim channel flickering to static and back. That’s funny, who turned it on?

I grabbed the remote on the side of the couch and held it in front of the TV. Just when I was about to press the power button to turn it off, it suddenly changed to a bumper with “Tonight only, a special episode of The Adventures of MYCUN is coming up for half-hour! Don't miss it! First and last chance to see it!” blaring really loud. I dropped the remote in shock. It fell to the floor with a loud thud. Something was wrong here, The Adventures of MYCUN never came on this late. Also, why was it so special? Curiosity killed the cat when I sat down and began to watch.

It began with the 20th Century Fox logo. The fanfare at first sounded normal, and not blaring loud like the bumper was. But near the end, it sounded very distorted and off-key. I shrugged it off and continued watching. When the CGI Entertainment logo and MYCUN Studios logo appeared, they were both colored a deep red instead of green or white. Something was definently wrong here. The title card that appeared made me jump. Remember the scene from the first Hotel Transylvania movie that had Wayne in bed with blood red eyes? That's what the title card was. A line of crimson text which read "Wayne's Depression" was written at the top. I could even hear someone whispering in the background.

The episode began with a view of Hotel Transylvania. The scene zoomed into a window, where it showed Wayne looking at himself in a bathroom mirror. He seemed to be crying. "I can't take it anymore!" he said “What do I do?! Should I end it? What is life?”. All of a sudden, he started to have some kind of hallucination. Two Waynes were looking back at him in the mirror. One was in a suit wearing glasses and the other looked like a rock star. I could tell they were Wayne’s reason and emotion. “Yo dog, you must do this thing!” said Emotion. “Are you out of your mind, good sir?” said Reason “You dare risk impregnating Wanda again?”. “C’mon man” said Emotion “Ya gotta chill out dude, we won’t get wild anymore”. "Like all the other times right? Hmmm?" said Reason "I suppose you enjoy that devastatingly intoxicating aroma of werewolf puppy waste that emanates from their diapers?". "We can't smell anything anymore bro!” said Emotion.

Wayne sat down on the floor. “I’m sorry….” he whispered as he pulled out a tape recorder and placed it on top of the sink, lifting his rump above the floor so he could reach it. He pressed the record button and began talking:

“Guys, I’m sorry about what I’m gonna do to you, but I couldn’t help it. I'm afraid I'm in danger of a mental breakdown, all because of you.

Wanda, my loving wife, YOUR FUCKING CHARM FOR ME CAUSED US TO HAVE ALL THESE FUCKING CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF! I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO KEEP YOUR WOMB EMPTY, CONDOMS, SLIPPING BIRTH CONTROL IN YOUR DRINKS, ANYTHING TO PREVENT YOU FROM PUPPY MAKING! THIS IS MY ONLY CHOICE NOW! I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO!

ADVENTURER, YOU FUCKING DUMBASS, YOU NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING ABOUT WHY YOU BECAME A NEW MEMBER OF THE MYCUNS OR WHERE YOU CAME FROM! Oh, and yes, I know you consoled me and helped me calm my nerves down about having so many kids, but that excuse just isn't enough to protect you from me.....

MISUZU, YOU FUCKING BITCH, I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH, YOU'RE ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH ADVENTURER, THINKING HE'S SO HOT AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO BARF MY BRAINS OUT, I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SHIT AND YOU NEVER TAKE ANY CONSIDERATION TO MY FEELINGS! NOW YOU'LL UNDERSTAND MY PAIN! JUST BE PREPARED!

I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL, AND YOU'RE ALL ASSHOLES!"

He slammed his butt back onto the floor and layed down, putting his feet on the rim of the sink. The scene then cut to the MYCUNs and their friends entering Hotel Transylvania, where they are greeted by Mavis, Johnny, Dennis, Winnie, Dracula, Frank, Eunice, Wanda, Murray, and Griffin. Gabriel asks where Wayne was. "He's just in the bathroom" said Wanda "He's probably just constipated". A door opened and Wayne slumped out. His eyes were red and swollen, his nose was bleeding, and froth was falling from the corners of his mouth. The MYCUNs and their friends were looking at him weirdly. "What's wrong, wolfman?" asked Johnny. Wayne glared at them all and said in a demonic voice, "Get ready to die!". The screen suddenly changed to black. I could hear bloodcurdling screams and the sounds of cutting and punching. After about 30 seconds, it showed a very disturbing scene. If you’ve seen an episode of the cartoon Happy Tree Friends before, you’ve seen nothing. It showed all of the MYCUNs and their friends horribly mutilated with blood splattered all over the place. After that, it showed Wayne with the bodies of Mavis, Johnny, Dennis, Winnie, Dracula, Frank, Eunice, Wanda, Murray, Griffin, and some of the wolf pups around him, all covered in blood. "I'm sorry!" he said "I didn't mean to do it! I was just having a mental breakdown!". Then it showed the same screenshot of Wayne that the title card hard, but it was different. Wayne's eyes were now more realistic looking and his face was soaked completely in blood. None of the werewolf pups were around him either. The last scene showed him on a dock dumping the remains of the MYCUNs and their friends into a lake. The water turned bright red with blood. After that, he sat down, watching the sunrise as tears ran down his furry cheeks. "Rest in peace, my friends and family...." he said sadly, drooping his head in regret. I actually felt a little bad for him. The episode ended with another shot of Wayne's bloody face.
 * First, it showed Gabriel.  He had one eye dangling from its nerve with hyper-realistic blood dripping from the socket, his hair was covered in crusted blood, his glasses were broken with bits of glass impaled in his face, his limbs were broken and twisted in unnatural angles, and his heart was ripped out and laid in front of him with the arteries still attached to the inside of his body.  There was blood all around his corpse.
 * Then the camera showed Red, who was killed in a similar fashion, but both of her eyes were pulled out and shoved down her throat and her legs were cut off.
 * Then the camera showed Gru lying on his stomach with an axe buried into his back.  A pool of blood could be seen forming underneath him.  An upside-down pentagram with the word "WAYNE WAS HERE" was carved into his forehead.
 * Then the camera showed Norbert the Minion, who was chopped up into a pile of bloody mincemeat. Blood was splattered all around him and his one eye was lying next to him, bloodshot and cut in half.
 * Then the camera showed a toothless Toon Link lying on his back, frozen, blue, dead.  His teeth were shown buried into a decomposing carved stump that looked like an angry wolf.  There were infected lacerations around his neck.  His eyes were X-shaped, but not cartoony. They looked like….stitches.  Dirty brown leaves surrounded him.  In his hand was a smashed Master Sword.
 * Then the camera showed Ico, who had a knife in his eye, and Yorda, who was on fire with her left arm missing.
 * Then the camera showed Coraline lying on her back with a knife buried into her chest.  Her skin was grey, her legs were torn in half, and her eyes were missing.  A pool of blood was forming underneath her.  Her stomach had blood stains in form of the number 666.
 * Then the camera showed Norman with his stomach ripped open and his guts splattered all around him.
 * Then the camera showed Athaga with her head smashed in and a sledgehammer covered in blood laying next to her. She lasted only a few seconds before she evaporated.
 * Then the camera showed Hiro hanging from the ceiling on a noose.  Blood was dripping from the deep slits in his face.
 * Then the camera showed Baymax. His plastic body was ripped to shreds, exposing his metal endoskeleton. His head was also ripped off and smashed to pieces on the wall next to him. There were wires hanging out of his neck where his head used to be.
 * Then the camera showed a wall with pieces of Caesar, Blue Eyes, Maurice, Rocket, Cornelia, Luca, and other apes stuck to it, which were sliding off and plopping onto the floor like raw eggs. The entire wall was painted dark red with blood, guts, and ruptured organ tissue in a chaotic bloodbath. I'll say, Wayne really butchered these guys.
 * Then the camera showed Bernard Bear with a chainsaw in his stomach.
 * Then the camera showed Victor Van Dort with his head bitten off.
 * Then the camera showed Victoria Everglot with her stomach cut open and her intestines chopped up and pulled 5 feet away from her.  Crimson blood was draining from her stomach onto the floor.
 * Then the camera showed Emily the Corpse Bride in a pool of her own blood with bruise marks all over her body and a bleeding crack in her forehead. She was also impaled with a broken baseball bat.  How did Wayne manage to kill her? If she’s a corpse bride, she couldn’t have been killed.
 * Then the camera showed Jak nailed to an inverted cross upside down. All of his skin was peeled off and his insides were dangling out of his split-open stomach onto his face.
 * Then the camera showed a steaming pot on a stove.  When the camera looked inside, it showed that it also contained blood, little pieces of organ, and Daxter's skull.
 * Then the camera showed Iken and Naomi.  Their eyes were missing and blood was dripping from the scratches on their faces.
 * Then the camera showed the corpses of the Yaku Tsuu characters.  Shougu was hanging on a rack by his spine, AAAA had a bullet hole in his head and blood and brain matter was splattered behind him, Violet was forever on fire with her skin melting and regenerating itself in an endless cycle, and Structure and Kozu's organs were pulled out and piled on top of them, with deep jagged cuts in Kozu's back. Blood was splattered all around them.
 * Then the camera showed Adventurer.  His eyes were pitch black with crimson blood oozing out of them, there were cuts all over his body, and his arms and legs were chopped off.
 * Finally, it showed Misuzu.  She wasn't as bloody or mangled as the others were though. The word “BITCH” was carved into her stomach and there was a plastic bag over her head.  Thank goodness, but it surprised me that Wayne gave Misuzu a more humane death than the others.

The credits were red and had an eerie tune playing. The copyright year was 2006, which was weird because The Adventures of MYCUN started in 2016. I could see real-life footage in the background, which showed toddlers getting raped by a terrorist, a woman slicing her throat with a razor blade, a boy getting strangled to death, and one that disturbed me the most. It was a man shooting a girl who looked like my cousin in the face with a shotgun. You could clearly see the girl’s blood and brain matter fly out of her head. After that, it changed to white with a text in the middle that read “The MYCUNs are now dead. The show's over. Now thank you for watching the special episode of Adventures of MYCUN. Goodbye.”  The TV then turned off all by itself.

In my horror, I called the police, who arrived to my house a few seconds later. My parents woke up and came downstairs. They asked me what was going on, and I told them all about the episode. At first, nobody believed me. The police said I was probably having a nightmare. Dad got out his laptop and checked the security footage of the living room. When my parents and the police saw the episode in the footage, they were all shocked. I could see my mom’s face go completely white. Once the police left, my parents emailed MYCUN Studios about the episode and attached the security footage to the email.

The next morning, my dad brought in the mail. One of them was a letter from MYCUN Studios with my name on it. I cut it open with scissors and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. I unfolded it and this is what it read:

“Thank you for letting your parents contact us about the episode. One thing, how on Earth did you find out about it? Listen, we're very sorry. We didn’t make the episode, a person we fired did. He was always depressed. He was a very quiet staff, like quiet as a mouse. We didn't put the screamer and everything in, we're not that sick.

I don't know about the 2006 thing, it was probably a goof or joke made by the creator of the episode. Now, here's my theory, the creator of the episode hijacked the local TV station near ********* (I censored the name of my hometown.) and it aired on your local Adult Swim station.

And the disturbing clips? I don’t really know, I only remember making the title card. I'm very sorry Gabe, (yes that's my name) I'm really sorry.

~Best wishes, the MYCUN Studios staff/interns."

Be careful, if you happen to find a video named "Wayne's Depression.wmv", "Wayne's Depression.avi", "Wayne's Depression.mp4", "Adventures of MYCUN- Wayne's Depression", "AOM S9E18b Wayne's Depression", "Adventures of MYCUN: Season 9 Episode 18b" or something, DO NOT WATCH IT!